Feldman, a local candy store clerk was not sure if he had scored a threesome
yesterday after making out with siamese twins he met at a circus sideshow
connected to a traveling carnival in the local JC Penney parking lot.
“It was cool man,” said a stoned Feldman. “I had just
scarfed down some righteous cotton candy, and these two gorgeous chicks came up
to me and started talking. I just thought it was an illusion like the funhouse
mirrors down the path, you know?”
Bernice and Jessica. Both 26, are considered Omphalopagus
twins conjoined at the lower chest. They have travelled with the Farnum &
Spitz Circus Side Show Spectacular for almost 9 years.
Bernice refused to
comment, but Jessica admitted it might have been a mistake. “He looked kind of
cute, but it was really dark behind the Ferris Wheel. Bernie’s such a slut, I
don’t know why I let her drag me into these awkward situations.”
Feldman still hasn’t decided if it was ‘officially’ a
threesome. Supporting evidence includes the twins’ two heads and separate heart
regions. Nonbearing evidence includes the fact that the twins share several
limbs and a digestive system.
This was not the only quagmire that Feldman found himself in.
Other similar imponderable dilemmas from the same night included how much pot he
could actually smoke without impairing his judgment, and whether or not making
out with the bearded lady made him gay.