In yet another scandal that will likely rock the publishing
world, evidence has emerged that alleges Dr. Seuss classic children’s book How
the Grinch Stole Christmas
may be riddled with exaggerations and fabrications.

Publishers are shocked and readers angered by recent
revelations that the bitter old Grinch in Seuss’ story may in fact have been a
kindly gentleman who volunteered at soup kitchens long before the events in
Seuss’ book allegedly occurred.


“Grinchy was so sweet and kindhearted,” said Cindy-Lou, the girl featured prominently in the book by Seuss. “I remember he adored Christmas. He
loved the holiday noises, the feasting, and especially the singing. As far as I
know, Grinch never slithered or slunk. Dr. Seuss is just a big, fat  poopyhead liar.”

Other elements of the story in dispute are the existence of
Grinch’s dog Max and the whereabouts of the legendary cave Grinch supposedly
lived in. Also questionable is the laundry list Seuss claims Grinch stole that
fateful Christmas Eve: pop guns, bicycles, roller skates, drums,
checkerboards, tricycles, popcorn, plums, Christmas trees and the much coveted
Who-Hash.

“It’s likely that Grinch didn’t steal anything at all,” said deputy Sheriff McGillucutty of the Who-ville sheriff
department. “He has no criminal record I’m aware of. Always seemed like a nice,
green cuddly fellow.”


Before Seuss made a fortune claiming the Grinch’s heart was
“two sizes too small”, he dwelled in relative obscurity writing leftist
editorial cartoons for the New York City daily newspaper. His idea for
the children’s book for the story of the Grinch went largely unnoticed until he added a rhyming scheme and silly pictures. 

Editors at the Smoking Gun website suspect Seuss
manufactured the events in Who-ville out of a single chance encounter with
Grinch while living in La Jolla.

Now that there are questions as to the validity of much of Seuss’
work, other areas of his writing seem to be unraveling. No longer can people
believe there was a Cat in the Hat, whether anyone ever actually Hopped on Pop,
if there was a Lorax, and if Horton really Heard a Who.  Dr. Seuss PhD credentials may also be subject
to intense scrutiny, and his status as a doctor could be stripped before the
end of the year.

In an extraordinary move, Candlewick Publishing has announced all future issues of the Where’s Waldo series of children’s books will replace the Waldo character with Osama Bin Laden. The famed children’s book has been lagging in sales lately, and
editors felt a new twist was needed in order to drum up excitement for the upcoming
printing. “Think of it as a primer,” says a spokesman for Candlewick. “Kids
will be able to have fun, while also being programmed to be suspicious of brown-skinned
guys in turbans.” Although his permission was not solicited for the upcoming publication, Osama seemed excited about the prospect in his last video. "Waldo’s a great guy. I’m honored to take his place. Oh, and Death to America!" Complimentary copies will be sent to President Bush and all
White House officials in hopes that it will help them finally locate the
mastermind of 9/11.