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You have found Fwips.com. This means you
have joined a regal and exclusive community of people. It means you’re smarter,
sexier and better smelling than 95.8% of internet users in the whole wide
world. A statistic that is completely made up, but prestigious nonetheless.

 Fwips.com is not your ordinary news service. Not only are we
dedicated to bringing you hard-hitting, industry-leading, record-breaking,
hyphenoverusing news and entertainment from across the globe, but we may even
occasionally throw in a sassy recipe for baby back ribs just for kicks. Kicks
with a capital ‘K’. And with tangy barbeque sauce. With a capital ‘Q’.

Don’t forget award-winning. We want to win prizes.
Pulitzers, Nobels, Grammy’s, People’s Choice, Teen Choice, Country Music, hell,
give us a Daytime Emmy for God’s sake! Don’t be fooled, we’re in it for the
glory. 

This site will offer weekly updates, breaking stories, astute
commentary, cogent analysis, and cold, hard booty. We’re committed to bringing
you the latest in local and national news, entertainment, sports, business,
current events, non-current events and non-event-events. And other stuff, too.
We’ve wiretapped phones to get you the latest scoop. But don’t worry; the
government says it’s okay. That’s good enough for our bosses.

Let’s face it. All news outlets lie. Some more than others.
But our news and commentary slant it in just the right way, the smooth kind of way, the way
that may give you a tingly feeling in your naughty bits. Call it Journalism
with a shot of Viagra.

We’re a small enterprise with a big heart and an empty
wallet. Right now, we’re actually just one person. But with the help of
cloning, that may change.

All content on this site is original. And copyrighted. Lock
stock, and smokin’ freakin’ barrel. We’re devoted to becoming your go-to source
for anything and everything this world has to offer. Check back often, for you
never know what late breaking news story has hit the wires. And email Fwips
with any suggestions, love letters, heckles, and numbers to Swiss bank
accounts. We want them all.