Girl Scouts to Target Potheads for Cookie Sales

ORANGE COUNTY, Ca. – Looking for new and innovative marketing techniques for
their already lucrative cookie sales, the Girl Scouts of America has announced it
will now promote their tasty treats to potheads. “This is a great chance to
expand revenue for the girls, so they may build character and skills for
success in the real world,” Margaret Collins, head of the Orange County chapter. “Plus they’ll be exposed to some killer music, dude.”

The Amsterdam Girl Scout chapter tested the technique, and
as a result the fundraising for their council increased 4,582% over last year with record sales of all the major cookie styles, including Thin Mints,
Do-Si-Do’s and Tagalongs. Instead of pestering patrons of local grocery stores
and parents’ coworkers, scout leaders plan to market their cookies outside
reggae concerts, cartoon festivals and local college dorms.

If the new marketing strategy is a success, the program may
be expanded to include sales of official Girl Scout black-lights and Girl Scout
Hemp based products, including body mists, candles, lotions and lip balm.  In order to help the scouts understand their
new clients, the national Girl Scout Council has encouraged parents to replace
their girls’ normal hairdos with dread locks. Also new is the recent Scout curriculum additions
of glass-pipe blowing and basement botany merit badges.

 

“We’re really excited about the potential to blow the lid
off of our sales figures. Of course, it’s all to help the girls build essential
life-skills,” Said Collins. She added, “Dude, stop bogarting the Samoas.”