Hardcore Gangsta Hides Affection for ‘Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure’

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SOUTH CENTRAL, Calif. – In an attempt to save his reputation as a cold-blooded inner-city gangster
with street cred, local hood Anfernee Marsallis has spent several years
pretending to love the movie Scarface while secretly adoring Pee-Wee’s Big
Adventure
. “I’m tired of sneaking around behind my homeys’ backs, but I gots to
do it if I wanna maintain my status as a ruthless gangsta sonuffabitch,” said
Marsallis.

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Over the years, the movie Scarface and its posters have become calling cards
for the urban gangster lifestyle. Posters of Al Pacino’s character from Brian
DePalma’s cult classic continue to be prominently displayed on the walls of the
homes of gang members, drug dealers and hoodlums all across the nation. Pee-Wee’s
Big Adventure
was Tim Burton’s cult hit from 1985 about a nerdy loser with a
speech impediment in a red bow-tie who went on cross-country trip to search for
his stolen bike.

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The affection Marsallis feels for the Paul Reubens’ character
has occasionally had dire consequences. In one harrowing incident, Marsallis
found himself on the wrong side of town surrounded by a rival gang of Bloods.
He attempted to win them over by reenacting a scene from the movie, where Pee
Wee won over a ruthless biker gang by dancing a “Tequila Dance” to the song by the Champs. Directly proceeding the altercation, Marsallis spent 7 weeks in
the local hospital’s ICU recovering from seven gunshot wounds to his legs and
abdomen.

“During last weeks liquor store robbery, my nigga Marcus
pulled out his gun and used Pacino’s famous line from Scarface– ‘Say hello to
my little friend.’ I wanted to keep my mind on the cash register, but all I
could think about was how I craved to say ‘Tell em’ Large Marge sent ya!’
instead.”

The fondness the gangsta culture has for Pacino’s Scarface has
not translated into other films, and Marsallis is fearful nobody will ever
understand his obsession with Pee Wee. Still, he holds out hope someday he won’t
have to hide his love for the 80’s cult favorite.  “He may have been a scrawny little white guy,
but Pee Wee was one bad muthafucker with a cool ass bike!”