Protesters Protest the Protesters Protesting Protesters

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an interesting twist to freedom of speech, protesters of those protesting Bush’s foreign policy towards Israel have been bombarded by protesters protesting those protesting the original protesters. “We’re not protesting the protesters who are protesting. Why would we protest them? What we’re against are the protesters protesting the protesters and that’s why we’re protesting the protesters who are protesting the protesters. Duh,” said counter-counter protest organizer Greg Klein. When asked if they agreed with the sentiments of the original protesters, Klein retorted, “We just want to show our solidarity by protesting against those who would protest against those who protest against Bush.”

Scientists believe that if this trend continues, and a counter protest to the counter protest protesting those who are counter protesting the protesters does in fact develop, it could have dire consequences to the space-time continuum. Explains Dr. Richard Sturgis, head of Theoretical Physics at MIT, “If the trend continues unabated, these protesters may invert upon themselves, much like when two mirrors face each other, causing an infinite spectrum of protesters in either direction. The sheer numbers could cause a buildup of dark matter and the eventual implosion of a major sector of the known universe.”

Despite these warnings, all the various protesters remain unwavering. Vigils, counter vigils, counter-counter vigils, and counter-counter-counter vigils are scheduled well into next Thursday. Although no violence amongst the conflicting protest groups has broken out, several had to leave due to headaches induced by trying to figure out what the hell they’re protesting against or for. “I don’t know what those guys are protesting our protest of the protesters, but we’re certainly not backing down” said a woman who identified herself as ‘Kathy’. “Shit, I can’t keep this straight. My head hurts.”