Scientists have invented a new contraceptive similar to the Morning After
Pill called The Afternoon Before Pill. “The Afternoon Before Pill works just
like the Morning After Pill by preventing ovaries from releasing an egg,” says
the head scientist, Dr. Morgan Fillmein.
“The only difference is women take it shortly before they go
on a date. I mean, come on. Women already know when they’re going to put out.
They’re in complete control of the world’s supply of poon-tang. Whether or not they’re getting the hot beef injection isn’t a mystery to them, only to their date. Just
take the goddamn pill before the date already. Or don’t. Just stop leading me on all night!.”
Dr. Fillmein admits the
chemical structure of the morning after and the afternoon before pill are identical.
“So fucking what? I just need to get laid!”