Supporters Want Clinton Face on Strip Club Funny Money

(UNASSOCIATED PRESS) – Following the push to replace Franklin Roosevelt’s head on the dime with Ronald Reagan’s, supporters of former president Bill Clinton hope to mandate all U.S. strip clubs place Clinton’s head on their funny money. 

Most upscale gentlemen’s clubs offer patrons the choice of converting their dollar bills to ‘strip club dollars’. It is fake or funny money that bares a resemblance to legal tender but is instead printed on colorful paper with the strip club’s logo. “It’s a fun way to involve the customers and snatch more of their cash. Plus it cracks down on counterfeit bills,” says Benny Taglioni, manager of Boner Appetit’s, a New Jersey strip club.

The proposed legislation would require each club’s dollar bills to include a portrait or photograph of Bill Clinton in a similar fashion to the pictures of past leaders on legal paper money. The clubs could simply accentuate the pictures on their existing dollars, which are often riddled with provocative pictures, bare-ass naked woman, exposed boobs, and strippers in obscene poses.

“It’s a great idea,” says sponsor of the bill Jeffrey Kierkegaard, D-Maryland. “Every time someone is getting a lapdance from Jasmine, the Perfect 10 with the 36 DD’s, Slick Willy’s face will be there to remind us of our freedom. His mug will remind us of the roaring 90’s, when the Cold War was over, everyone was making money, and the worst thing we had to worry about was a president getting a hummer from a fat girl.”