‘Unnamed’ Democrat would win over Republican

A recent poll indicates that ‘unnamed’ Democrats would beat
incumbent Republicans in the 2006 Congressional races, but Democratic
leadership has yet to find any candidates without names. Chairman of the DNC
Howard Dean is scrambling to find unnamed Democrats. “The problem is, once we
find candidates, it never fails that they have a name.”

Polls show that Americans believe Republicans are so inept
right now, they’d vote for Democrats so long as nobody tells them who that
Democrat actually is. This difficulty seems to be that once the Democrat is
actually named, the polls dip and the Republican regains the lead.


Dean is considering a technique where throughout the
campaign the Democratic candidate wears a bag on their had, much like the
Unnamed Comic did in the 70’s. “That way, we can be sure that since the public
doesn’t know their name, they’ll vote for him. Uh, her. It.” Dean hasn’t ruled out finding
an unnamed Democratic candidate or two before the 2006 election. “If you’re a Democrat without a name, please contact us immediately. We guarantee you’ll win!”