White performer Wins Award, Black Performers Steal Award

White Performer Wins Award

Reese

PASADENA, Ca. As
anticipated, southern, white actress Reese Witherspoon took the Oscar for Best Actress during the 78th Annual Academy Awards. Though flustered, a
radiant Witherspoon made it to the stage, was given the statue and cordially
thanked the Academy for their gift. “We think Reese was the perfect choice to
receive the Oscar,” said president of the  of Academy of Arts and Sciences Sid Ganis. “It
was an honor to bestow the statue to such a deserving winner and we hope to be
her benefactor again in the near future.” Critics hailed Witherspoon as a very
deserving nominee and some went so far as to express their hope that this
beautiful, caucasian free spirit has more awards lavished upon her in years to come.

Black Performers Steal Award

Three_6_mafia_1_1
PASADENA, Ca. – A
gang of black rappers named Three 6 Mafia stole the Oscar for “best song” up from
under the noses of the other nominees. Upon hearing their names, the African
American performers immediately ransacked the stage to seize the award, made a few brief statements,
and ran off to make their getaway. “It was like being struck by a sledgehammer,” said president
of the Academy of Arts
and Sciences Sid Ganis. “It was the surprise of the night and we were in utter
shock. Those thugs stomped up on stage, knocked us upside the head and snatched
the award before we knew what hit us.” Critics called it the biggest shanghai
since black performers Denzel Washington and Halle Berry
fleeced the Oscars several years previously.

2 thoughts on “White performer Wins Award, Black Performers Steal Award

  1. How precisely does a song entitled “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp” win an Oscar anyways?

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